The 2022 LAX2LIVE season was an incredible opportunity for the foundation to start the necessary conversation with hundreds of young men and woman athletes about depression and suicide prevention. These players work hard, study hard, and put so much pressure on themselves, they (and we) sometimes forget to look at them as simply a person – not the athlete and not the student.

Our message is this: It’s okay to ask for help. You would ask for help if you hurt yourself on the field if you were sick. The same is true for your mental health. Talk about it. Ask friends if they’re ok. Really ask them. As athletes, you have each other’s back on the field. Do the same off of the field. Sometimes it’s okay not to be okay.

I’ve learned more about the game of lacrosse than I ever could’ve imagined. I even found myself cheering for the underdogs! Brian would be proud.

Each game, I witnessed the players, running, cheering, playing their heart out and being there for their teammates. I was reminded of Brian’s love for the sport. I’ll be honest, there were moments when tears would come, missing my boy. I wondered, if there were people at one if his Lacrosse games all those years ago, talking about mental health, letting him know that it’s okay to ask for help, would he have heard the message, would he have talked to us?? I know I’ll never know. But I would like to think it may have helped him.

I know there are many Brian’s in the world, I hope we are helping some of them.

This year, we had…
…23 high school teams
…12 new schools participating
…2 college games (one in New Jersey!)
…12 teams at the CIAC Lacrosse State Championships representing LAX2LIVE
…850 t-shirts
…1000+ students reached as well as numerous coaches, family members, and school staff
…Countless hugs, thank yous, and respect from amazing athletes throughout the state

It’s okay to ask for help. You would ask for help if you hurt yourself on the field if you were sick. The same is true for your mental health. Talk about. Ask friends if they’re ok. Really ask them. As athletes, you have each other’s back on the field. Do the same off of the field. Sometimes it’s okay not to be okay.

Ann Dagle, Brian Dagle Foundation

This day arrives each year with the anticipation beginning about a month before when the calendar turns to March 2nd. Regardless of the number of years, the hesitation, the anticipations begins again, counting down to April 2^nd. This year would have been a milestone year. This year on April 2nd, Brian would have celebrated his 30^th birthday.

Eleven birthdays without him.

Eleven birthdays remembering his smile, his love, his light. Remembering the love while simultaneously honoring the profound loss I feel without him is what I to do.

My mind can only imagine who he would be today or what he would look like. 

Eleven years later, time and space have given me the wisdom of understanding that grief doesn’t end. Grief is love with no place to go; I simply surrender to the feelings within. 

For me, creating a yearly ritual, in a strange way has given me something to do for his birthday when especially in the early years, I didn’t know what to do.

Every year, I place an “in memorial” in the newspaper, carefully thinking about every word to be printed.
I’m grateful for the kindness and compassion of the people at The Day newspaper, the strangers who listened to me to cry, those first few years, when I said Brian’s name. 

In 2016, I started another ritual when I didn’t know what to do. That day came, April 2^nd, and I felt lost, wondering about my house. What would be Brian be doing today? He’d probably be starting off the day with either a Shack breakfast or Flanders Donuts- or maybe both.

You can read more about my tradition here: https://www.theday.com/local/20160403/for-sons-birthday-brians-mom-starts-day-of-free-meals.

Each year, this annual community ritual with two of Brian’s favorite local restaurants allows me to honor Brian and share his love. Once again, it gives me something to do when I don’t know what to do.

So on April 2nd, enjoy chocolate pancakes at the Shack or have a delicious Flanders donut and remember Brian. Remember his kind heart and gentle sprit and offering the same for others.

Wishing you moments of peace-
Ann

If we have learned anything over the past two years, it’s how important it is to have difficult but necessary conversations. That is the goal of LAX2LIVE Lacrosse games for suicide awareness and mental health.
Reach out to us and discover how your team can be part our our 2022 LAX2LIVE SEASON and have of this life saving conversation.  

Like

 most of the programs associated with the Brian Dagle Foundation, LAX2LIVE was also created out of love and loss. It’s our way to honor the sport Brian played with passion. For those who knew Brian, he wasn’t a big kid but his spirit, especially for his team and sport shined through. 

Since its inception about six years ago, LAX2LIVE has used the lacrosse field as a platform to have this difficult conversation with athletes, coaches, parents, and fans about mental health. 
The teams hear the message from us as we share our story at halftime. We give the athletes permission to say, “I’m struggling” and it’s to ask for help for yourself or your teammates. They did just that. Coaches and parents have told us of players who have come to them to say, “That’s me, I’m struggling.”

The game format is simple. The schools decide on a date that works for them. We supply the Tshirts, resources, and game on. Although the format is simple, the outcome can save a life. Making  a difference in one life is what matters. Ask us how you can join the LAX2LIVE team. Schools, volunteers, and supporters all welcome. 

Warmly-
Ann Irr Dagle and
the Brian Dagle Foundation Family

For more information, visit https://brianshealinghearts.org/events/lax2live-lacrosse/

“Open your heart as often as you need to”. I read this quote four years to the day on which we opened our hearts to yours at Brian’s Healing Hearts. Four years ago, January 27, 2018. On that glorious sunny January day I was filled with emotions- love, joy, kindness, and yes, that bittersweet sadness whispering why it all happened. 

To illustrate some of our timeline, let me share two milestones that started our journey. 
Seven years ago, the Brian Dagle Foundation was born out of loss and love to fill the need for grief support services for anyone struggling after the loss of a loved one and to provide education and training on suicide awareness and prevention. A year before that, eight years ago, I cracked the door open in my heart by telling my family, “I’m not sure what I need to do but I have to find something to do with this pain.” I wrote on a file folder- Project Brian.

There are no coincidences that the reading about opening your heart again and again found me.  It was meant as a reminder on this special anniversary to never stop trying. It was a reminder that no matter how long, how many heartaches we endure- open your heart again.
I am humbled beyond words that each time I open my broken heart, I learn grace. With grace comes gifts too numerous to count. 

With overwhelming gratitude to family, friends, supporters, and especially to those who dare to open their hearts with us.
Wishing you moments of peace-
Ann

Dear Friends, Family, and Supporters

In the final weeks of 2021, like most of us, I find myself reflecting on this year. Honestly, I’m still processing the incredible growth and milestones the Brian Dagle Foundation has accomplished over the past twelve months. 

Brian’s Healing Hearts hosted its first facilitator training so that we could expand the grief support groups to meet the increasing needs of people seeking support. The added groups allow us to open our doors and our virtual space to meet people where they are at and simply hold space for their grief. In this work, we are always reminded that it takes a village. I like to think that we’re part of that village by offering support groups, workshops, and individual grief therapy. We are grateful to offer the grief programs for free. 

One of my cherished memories of 2021 is the “An Evening of Remembrance”, that was in July. It was a  somber tribute to acknowledge the lives lost in Southeastern Connecticut to covid. The soaring temperatures did not hinder the 30 plus volunteers who came out to prep and distribute the over 800 luminaries along Main Streets in Niantic to make it all happen. 

Throughout 2021, I was asked to teach suicide prevention and mental health programs. This year I reached thousands of people, virtually throughout the state. Education communities, state and local agencies, and businesses, listened and learned about the once taboo subject on how to support people in a mental health crisis. Now, more than ever, we need to continue this conversation. 

And then there was you! Our supporters, sponsors, and volunteers. Without your trust in our mission, we could not make this happen. When we ask. you say yes. We are sincerely humbled by your generosity of time and resources.  
The Brian Dagle Foundation began in 2014, Brian’s Healing Hearts opened in 2018. Never could I have envisioned the impact we have made on so many lives. For anyone we’ve reached, you are the reason. 
Thank you opening your hearts to us. We look forward to see what is ahead for us in 2022. 

Wishing you moments of peace-
Ann

November 12, 2021

The brain. The heart. So close yet so far. I’m reminded of this again, even after ten years of grieving the loss of my son. Brian died by suicide in 2011.

For the most part, I’m doing well. Loving and living a meaning full life. They say, finding meaning is the final stage of grief. Is there a final stage of grief?

For this ten year “anniversary” of Brian’s death, the brave me asked his friends to share pictures and memories of him. They did. Then, on that ever-dreadful day, I found the courage within my brave self to travel to Castleton University, in Castleton Vermont, the place Brian so deeply loved. Also, the place he died. His happy place. Whenever I voiced my concern for him, I remember Brian always assuring me that this was his “safe place, mom.” I’m good here.

The good news is, I did it. A reminder to myself, to never say never. Never did I imagine I would travel to Vermont again. The thought of it would send panic through me.

In the early years, the sight of a Vermont license plate bring shivers.

To be honest, going to Vermont, especially on that day, was not my idea. But with some gentle coaching, Matthew, my middle son suggested we do it. He knew I had wanted to go there but I could never initiate the trip.

“It’s going to be hard Mom, really hard. But let’s just do it.” The thought of having a plan of action that day rather than sitting around waiting to for the day to end seemed like a better option.

But here’s the thing. The brain knows he’s gone, after ten years, the heart does too. Yet, starring at the pictures, walking the Castleton campus, surrounded by the Green Mountains, remembering his love for the outdoors, screamed to me, “he’s really dead”.  The “whys” start to bubble back to the surface. He had so much going for him. WHY?  Reliving the “woulda, couda, shoulda’s we do after someone we love dies. Ugh, here I go again, sliding down that rabbit hole. My brain screams, stop this nonsense, it’s been ten years. My heart cries, ten years, it feels like yesterday, it feels like forever.

In the end, going to Vermont was good for me. I’m glad I did. It was the anticipation of the unknown that was holding me back. One thing my brain and heart will agree on is that sometimes the hardest things we do are the best things we can do for ourselves to heal.

In hope-Ann

On November 12th, it will be ten years since the death of my son Brian, Whew. It’s been a long, turbulent road. But the years have soften the sharpness of my grief. I’ve learned that grief never end because it’s simply the price you pay for love, and love never dies. Now, my days are filled with memories that make me smile instead of cry. Yet, there are days when I get in “that place of overwhelming grief”, and I know it’s time to dig deep into my toolbox and pull out what I need for support  

I would give back the lessons and gifts I’ve received during the past ten years in an instant, if only I could just have Brian back for a minute, but I know that’s impossible. So, I hold the precious moments and the people who’ve come into my life close to my heart, finding gratitude in the gifts of grief. 

I thought I’d share more lessons I’ve learned… 

1. Through the miracles of love, hope, and life, you survive the unimaginable.
2. Trust your heart, it will lead you in the direction you are meant to follow.
3. Create boundaries to keep you safe.
4. Give yourself permission take care of yourself, put your oxygen mask on first. 
5. Feel the ugliness of your pain, it is the only way to the other side. 
6. It’s okay to feel love and joy again.
7. Love is stronger than fear. Love fearlessly. 
8. Surround yourself with unconditional love and support. Always. 
9. Say their name. OUT LOUD! 
10. Love never dies. Hold on to it. Share it. Spread it.

Wishing you moments of peace-
Ann

September is Suicide Awareness Month.

It’s an opportunity to educate ourselves on a subject we tend to avoid. 

Suicide Awareness and Prevention is a core part of the mission of the Brian Dagle Foundation which was founded in 2014 after the loss of my 19-year old son Brian to suicide. Back then, in 2011, there was little or no conversation about mental health and suicide. I did not know then what I know now. If I did, maybe my life would look very different.

In the era of post Covid-19, as we try to piece our worlds back together, our mental health should remain a priority, and be treated the same as our physical health. It’s more important than ever that we be there for each other and take steps to prevent suicide. Suicide is the 10^th leading cause of death. In 2019, 47,511 people died by suicide and it is estimated that over 1.38 million people attempted suicide.

You don’t have to be a mental health professional to make a difference. There are simple things we can all do to safeguard our mental health, and you don’t have to do it alone.  
A few of the warning signs to look for maybe any change in normal behavior, sleep disturbances, impulsivity, and anxiety. Suicide is a complex issue. However, through education and awareness we can all learn new ways to help each other and save lives. We are pleased to be hosting a free community QPR suicide prevention training on September 30th.

Our family, along with many other supporters, survivors, and those living with mental health will be participating in the Niantic Out of the Darkness Walk on September 19th. We’re excited that the Bright Music Festival will be joining us at the Niantic Walk to further promote mental health awareness with resources, activities, and of course music to brighten our day!! 
Please consider joining us as walk out of the darkness and into the light of hope, honoring the lives lost but also the lives we may save. 

If you or someone you know is struggling, please call 1-800-273-8255(TALK) or text HOME to 741-741
To learn more about suicide awareness and prevention and the work of the Brian Dagle Foundation and Brian’s Healing Hearts Center, visit https://brianshealinghearts.org

Wising you moments of peace-
Ann

Dear Friends and Supporters-

As I sit down to write this message, it’s that wonderful time of the year, the 2020 Holiday Season. A season we like to imagine is filled with joy, peace, and hope. This year, ask people how they feel about the holiday season, and their response might be, “For this year, peace, joy, and hope have either been deferred or out of work”. For me, there is one word that describes the holidays of 2020.  No, it’s not that word, it is this one — HOPE. 

Hope is to want an outcome that makes your life or someone else’s life better. It not only can help make a tough situation more bearable, it can eventually improve our lives because envisioning a better future motivates you to take the steps to make it happen.

Whether we realize it or not, everyone looks for hope at sometime in their life. It’s what humans do. Hope helps us find light in the darkest of times. It can define what and how we want our future world to be. We make it our story, searching for hope, creating a better outcome.

But then, at times, in life, there is hopelessness. When there
is no light, only dark, and not even a flicker of candlelight to find a way through.

During this exceptionally unusual and difficult Holiday Season, many have the ability to be the light, the hope holder for the ones who are struggling. It’s really very simple. Check in, make a phone call, pay it forward, donate food, offer your time. Quoting Nike- “Just do it”.

It is my hope, that some of you, will be a glimmer of light in the darkest of days for that friend, family member, or stranger by offering the simplest act of caring and kindness.

Wishing you moments of joy, peace, and hope during this Holiday season.
Ann