Finding Meaning and Purpose in Grief
As you navigate grief and begin to mourn (what we call expressing that grief in your life and the world), you may notice that grief often leads you to discover new meaning and purpose and connects you more deeply to the people, places, and moments around you:
“You may find meaning in [the death, the loss, the event, the life of the person you loved, or in your own life], which will lead you to deeper questions and deeper answers. Maybe your meaning will come by finding rituals that commemorate your loved one’s life, or by offering some kind of contribution that will honor that person. Or the loss of your loved one may cause you to deepen your connection to those who are still with you, or to invite back into your life people from whom you’ve been estranged. Or it may give you a heightened sense of the beauty of the life we are all so privileged to have as long as we remain on this earth.”- David Kessler
While we can’t always control what lessons we learn or answers we find, we have the power to notice what grief is showing us. It’s important to remember that meaning and understanding are not the same thing. You don’t need to understand why someone died in order to find meaning. Meaning is what YOU make happen.
A few questions for reflection:
- What has grief taught you?
- What questions do you find yourself asking?
- Who are the people and what are the activities you find yourself gravitating towards?
- What meaning and purpose do you have now that you didn’t before loss?
- What in your life would you like to change to better align with this meaning and purpose?
What has helped you explore meaning and purpose after loss?
Books and Resources
- Book: Finding Meaning – The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler
- Book: Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
- Book: Wild Hope by Donna Ashworth
- Book: Loss by Donna Ashworth
- Video: Developing Passion and Purpose After Loss
- Video: Making Meaning After Loss
- Blog: 64 Lessons that Grief has Taught
- Podcast: Unlocking Joy Podcast – Finding Purpose After Loss
Inspiration
“Take the love you had for me
and turn it into laughter
turn it into blinding light
to shine on you thereafter.”
from “Take the Love” by Donna Ashworth
“Life gives us pain. Our job is to experience it when it gets handed to us. Avoidance of loss has a cost. Having our pain seen and seeing the pain in others is a wonderful medicine for both body and soul.” David Kessler
“I can be changed by what happens to me, I refuse to be reduced by it.” Maya Angelou
“Grief is not the enemy. Grief can be one of our greatest teachers.” Tom Zuba