Controlling What You Can
One of the most defining aspects of grief is feeling like you’ve lost control. Everything that may have once felt secure is now suspect. The truth is, loss and grief shatter the illusion of control – we never had as much control in life as we thought.
Grief and mourning are opportunities to reflect on and re-orient to controlling what you can. Here are a few questions to help you get started:
- What are you holding onto that you need to let go of?
- What are you trying to control that isn’t yours to control?
- What do you wish you could control but you can’t?
- How would your grief change if you only kept what is yours to control and hold on to?
What has helped you learn to only control what you can? How has letting go of control impacted your grief?
Books and Resources
- Blog post: Loss of Control in Grief
- Blog post: What We Can and Can’t Control in Grief **Some religious reflection
- Blog post: Controlling Controllables: the Key to Finding Direction in Uncertain Times
- Blog post: How to be a control freak and handle grief
- Article: 75 Things You Can Control
- Article: Who’s in Charge Here? Coping with loss of control
Inspiration
“Have big dreams but focus only on what you can control: your own thoughts, words, and actions.” Eboo Patel
“Anger might give us a false sense of control over things that are not in our control.” Dr Alan Wolfelt
“You can only control what you can control.” Heather O’Reilly
“I cannot always control what goes on outside. But I can always control what goes on inside.” Wayne Dyer