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Welcome to June—the summer season of celebration, gathering, and coming together. It is a time to honor graduations, weddings, and all the meaningful reasons we find to connect with one another.

Yet for many who are missing someone special, the beauty of the season can feel distant. The world around them may be full of color and life, but their grief can make everything feel muted. This season often stirs feelings of loss, isolation, and painful reminders of what once was—or what may never be.

So how do we honor their grief? How do we give them permission to do what is best for them during this painful season? Here are a few simple ways to companion someone who is grieving a loss.

  1. Talk to them. Don’t ignore the elephant in the room.
  2. Acknowledge that celebrations may be especially difficult.
  3. Invite them to share their feelings, if and when they are ready.
  4. Give them permission to say no to any event that may deepen their pain.
  5. Invite them to share a special memory of the person they are missing.

Silence can deepen a person’s sense of loneliness. While it may feel uncomfortable to speak about grief, acknowledging it lets them know they are seen, supported, and cared for. Even a small act of kindness can bring meaningful comfort.

Wishing you joy and comfort as you navigate the griefs and celebrations through the next month,

Ann Dagle & The Brian Dagle Foundation Family

One of the most defining aspects of grief is feeling like you’ve lost control. Everything that may have once felt secure is now suspect. The truth is, loss and grief shatter the illusion of control – we never had as much control in life as we thought.

Grief and mourning are opportunities to reflect on and re-orient to controlling what you can. Here are a few questions to help you get started:

What has helped you learn to only control what you can? How has letting go of control impacted your grief?

Books and Resources

Inspiration

“Have big dreams but focus only on what you can control: your own thoughts, words, and actions.” Eboo Patel

“Anger might give us a false sense of control over things that are not in our control.” Dr Alan Wolfelt

“You can only control what you can control.” Heather O’Reilly

“I cannot always control what goes on outside. But I can always control what goes on inside.” Wayne Dyer

Each May we observe Mental Health Awareness Month. It is a time to remind ourselves that we have no idea what another person is carrying, be it mental health issues, grief and loss, or some other life-changing stressor. Remembering this helps us to show compassion and kindness to one another.

As we often say at the Brian Dagle Foundation, “there is always hope,” and that is just as true this month. It is okay not to be okay. It is okay to ask for help. It is okay to need help!

SAMSHA (the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration) recently wrote an article entitled “Every Mental Health Journey Begins with Being Seen.” I hope you will take a few minutes to read it. They remind us “The way we respond to someone who is struggling can either reinforce stigma or support recovery. A simple act—checking in, listening without judgment, or helping someone connect to care—can make a meaningful difference.”

You can make a difference this Mental Health Awareness Month! Check in on someone, even if it is a quick note that says “thinking of you.” Listen without judgement, remembering that we can’t always understand another’s experience but we can be present to it. And if someone asks for help, you can connect them with someone who can provide the care they need.

Thank you for being part of making hope real in the world,
Ann Dagle & the Brian Dagle Foundation Family

Know someone who is struggling and not sure what to do? Call or text 988 for help any time.

We talk a lot about hope at the Brian Dagle Foundation and if you come to our building, Brian’s Healing Hearts, you’ll see artwork featuring hope throughout the house and cottage. At the beginning of your grief journey, you may feel like there could never be hope again, that you’ll never feel joy like you once did. But as you keep taking steps forwarding and doing the work of mourning and healing, you will find that the grief makes room for hope and hope drags joy right along with it. Not all at once, but like a puddle is made up of many rain drops, hope builds bit by bit until you can recognize it again.

A few questions to help you think about hope:

For a beautiful story of what it looks like to find hope and healing after loss, scroll down to read Sandy’s story.

Have thoughts on hope? Let us know!

Books and Resources

Inspiration

“Something will grow from all you are going through. And it will be you.” TobyMac

“They grow together in the same field – grief and hope. So compactly and in such unison that it’s difficult to tell which is which and just when you may be tempted to think grief is choking everything, hope blooms.” Lori Hetteen

“Place your hand over your heart, can you feel it? That is called purpose. You’re alive for a reason so don’t ever give up.” — Joyce Meyer

“The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.” — Juliette Lewis

“You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming.” — Pablo Neruda

A Story of Healing and Hope

Kim, Sandy’s daughter.

I had a history with trauma already when I learned three and a half years ago that my daughter, Kim, had taken her life. My inner critic immediately unleashed on me and support at home collapsed as well. And so, just a few months after Kim’s death, I found Brian’s Healing Hearts through an online search. I’d never sought support from a group before. I was terrified at the prospect of opening up to strangers about the crazy thoughts inside my head, but I’d reached a tipping point. If I didn’t release some of what was happening up there, or expand my capacity to hold it, (or both), I was going to have a meltdown.

It was winter and the room felt warm and welcoming. When Ann read the opening guidelines, I felt safe. When I listened to others, many who like me were parents who’d recently lost a child to suicide, I knew I wasn’t alone. When others who were farther along in their grief shared their experiences, I sensed hope. When my turn to speak came, I found in that atmosphere of acceptance the courage to share something that’d been haunting me. I’d been too numb to cry, and I feared my lack of tears was a reflection of a lack of love. To my welcome surprise, I discovered that I was having a common response. I was assured that whatever I felt, or didn’t feel, was part of my unique journey.

Over time, I learned from the group how to take better care of myself, befriend my inner critic, and be gentler. Slowly I began to open my heart and allow myself to feel. I learned that I often experienced more than one feeling at the same time. Ultimately, I learned how to build a new relationship with Kim in the present, one which both celebrates our unbreakable bond of love and mourns the loss of her physical presence. I’ve come to accept that what this looks like varies day to day, sometimes moment to moment because by finding community, I no longer feel like my loss sets me apart. Rather I’ve come to see living with it as the essence of what it means to be human and a reminder of our deep connection with one another.

by Sandy Kiefer

As we approach Brian’s birthday, April 2nd, each year, my thoughts constantly wander to Brian. It is difficult to believe he was only 19 years old when he left us. I often find myself wondering what he would be like now at 34.

How do you feel about your own loved one’s presence after their passing? Do you find yourself talking or writing to them, or sharing the details of your daily life?

For me, talking to Brian makes me feel as though he is still here. Shortly after his death, beach walks became our sacred time together. There were many walks where the tears flowed as I told him I didn’t understand, pleading for his help to get me through. I truly believe he listened, as I have found the strength to survive.

During these walks, I connect with him by writing his name in the sand. I have kept up this tradition even on vacations, from Ireland to South Africa, as a way of keeping him with me wherever I go. I like to think he would find it quite cool to see his name on beaches across the world.

There are also times when random thoughts pop into my head and our conversations begin. Whether he is encouraging me to “go for it,” telling me to “knock it off” when I am having negative thoughts, or simply saying, “I love you, Mother,” these moments always bring a smile to my face. While I cannot say for certain if Brian is talking to me, I know that I can see him smiling at me, and I feel his ever-present love with me always.

If you’re looking for a way to talk to your loved ones who have died, I invite you to come visit the wind phone in our healing garden. You can sit on a bench and as you speak into the phone, your words go off onto the wind. Find other wind phone locations here.

Additionally, Postal Service for the Dead is a program where you can mail your loved ones a letter. Find more information on how to participate here.

I hope you find ways to connect with the family and friends who have died that feels comforting and encourages you along your healing journey. 

With love,

Ann

As you navigate grief and begin to mourn (what we call expressing that grief in your life and the world), you may notice that grief often leads you to discover new meaning and purpose and connects you more deeply to the people, places, and moments around you:

“You may find meaning in [the death, the loss, the event, the life of the person you loved, or in your own life], which will lead you to deeper questions and deeper answers. Maybe your meaning will come by finding rituals that commemorate your loved one’s life, or by offering some kind of contribution that will honor that person. Or the loss of your loved one may cause you to deepen your connection to those who are still with you, or to invite back into your life people from whom you’ve been estranged. Or it may give you a heightened sense of the beauty of the life we are all so privileged to have as long as we remain on this earth.”- David Kessler

While we can’t always control what lessons we learn or answers we find, we have the power to notice what grief is showing us. It’s important to remember that meaning and understanding are not the same thing. You don’t need to understand why someone died in order to find meaning. Meaning is what YOU make happen.

A few questions for reflection:

  1. What has grief taught you?
  2. What questions do you find yourself asking?
  3. Who are the people and what are the activities you find yourself gravitating towards?
  4. What meaning and purpose do you have now that you didn’t before loss?
  5. What in your life would you like to change to better align with this meaning and purpose?

What has helped you explore meaning and purpose after loss?

Books and Resources

Inspiration

“Take the love you had for me
and turn it into laughter
turn it into blinding light
to shine on you thereafter.”
from “Take the Love” by Donna Ashworth

“Life gives us pain. Our job is to experience it when it gets handed to us. Avoidance of loss has a cost. Having our pain seen and seeing the pain in others is a wonderful medicine for both body and soul.” David Kessler

“I can be changed by what happens to me, I refuse to be reduced by it.” Maya Angelou

“Grief is not the enemy. Grief can be one of our greatest teachers.” Tom Zuba

The Brian’s Healing Hearts’ library is undergoing a refresh! As our mission states, in addition to providing support for grieving adults, we are dedicated to providing the community with grief education. One of the ways we can do that is by having a comprehensive library focused on grief and the grieving process. 

You may have noticed there is a new sign out procedure for books in the library; this is to help keep track of the resources we have as well as give us helpful information about what resources we would like to add.

Is there a topic or author you would like to see added to our library? We are looking to expand our selection on grief in general, but also in more specific topics related to grief and loss.

If you have borrowed a book and not yet returned it, please do so at your earliest convenience. We are cataloguing the books we have to help us decide what books to buy.

It takes a lot of courage to grieve. It can be scary to feel so deeply and allow yourself to be vulnerable. But choosing to mourn (actively grieve) is how you begin to heal. Mourning honors our loved ones because we decide to carry our love for them into our healing.

When you do something that took courage, you WIN! Grief is rarely experienced without a sense of fear, but naming our own fears out loud and by acknowledging the fears of others helps us to mourn even when it is scary and overwhelming. Recognizing and naming our fears is reclaiming our own power and ownership over our healing.

How did you give a voice to your courage this month? Let us know!

Books and Resources

Inspiration

“One way to learn courage is to experiment with being courageous… we can taste courage, notice courage, pretend courage… having the courage to grieve leads to having the courage to live, to love, to risk, and to enjoy all the fruits of life without fear or inhibition.” Judy Tatelbaum

“Paradoxically, it is the very act of mustering the courage to move toward the pain that ultimately leads to healing.” Alan Wolfelt

“It takes courage to grieve, to honor the pain we carry. We can grieve in tears or in meditative silence, in prayer or in song. In touching the pain of recent and long-held griefs, we come face to face with our genuine human vulnerability, with helplessness and hopelessness. These are the storm clouds of the heart.” Jack Kornfield

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.” Brene Brown

Each November, in our newsletter, I take time to acknowledge the loss of my son Brian. He is the reason for all I do with the Brian Dagle Foundation and Brian’s Healing Hearts. November 12, 2011, is when he left this earth. Fourteen years later, this day is difficult for all of us who were touched by the love Brian had for his family, friends, and community.

This November 12th will mark fourteen years since he left us. Time is a funny thing when you are grieving. The days and weeks leading up to that day catapult you back in time feeling as though it was yesterday yet at the same time, there is pervasive feeling of foreverness since we last hugged.

The years have allowed for the pieces of my broken heart to be gently stitched together. But days leading up to that day sometimes feel as though the stitches begin to unravel, allowing my deep grief to rise to the surface and the reality of his loss is overwhelming. I know that all I can do is breath through the hard days and remind myself that this too will pass. That in time, the gratitude for my family, friends, and life shines a light into my dark. That in time, I’ll remember Brian’s beautiful smile and his indigo blue eyes smiling are down at me.

And I’ll smile too, thankful to be his mom.

With gratitude,
Ann Dagle
President
Brian Dagle Foundation

September was busy at the Brian Dagle Foundation. Just the last few days, we hosted Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a leading grief expert, for a public workshop on grief and a day-long workshop for over 150 therapists, social workers, clergy, nurses, and other caregivers and helpers on caring for people who are grieving. Events like this are only possible due to the financial support of people like you.

In the nine months of 2025 so far, your donations have allowed us to host:

We’ve had a an average of 16 inquiries each month with 98 new support group attendees this year, an increase from every year before. Doing this work is an honor and we couldn’t do it without you.

As we approach the end of the year, please consider supporting us with a donation on Giving Tuesday or as part of your planned end-of-year giving. That money is what provides our support group members with a comfortable, non-clinical setting to find hope and begin healing. It keeps our kitchen stocked with tea, coffee, and snacks to meet the physical needs of mourners. And it makes bringing opportunities like our workshops and training with Dr. Alan Wolfelt possible.

We are humbled and honored by every single one of you who comes through our doors as a support group member, a volunteer, or a workshop attendee. Your partnership in our mission is essential.

Ann Dagle
President
Brian Dagle Foundation

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