Talking to Brian

As we approach Brian’s birthday, April 2nd, each year, my thoughts constantly wander to Brian. It is difficult to believe he was only 19 years old when he left us. I often find myself wondering what he would be like now at 34.

How do you feel about your own loved one’s presence after their passing? Do you find yourself talking or writing to them, or sharing the details of your daily life?

For me, talking to Brian makes me feel as though he is still here. Shortly after his death, beach walks became our sacred time together. There were many walks where the tears flowed as I told him I didn’t understand, pleading for his help to get me through. I truly believe he listened, as I have found the strength to survive.

During these walks, I connect with him by writing his name in the sand. I have kept up this tradition even on vacations, from Ireland to South Africa, as a way of keeping him with me wherever I go. I like to think he would find it quite cool to see his name on beaches across the world.

There are also times when random thoughts pop into my head and our conversations begin. Whether he is encouraging me to “go for it,” telling me to “knock it off” when I am having negative thoughts, or simply saying, “I love you, Mother,” these moments always bring a smile to my face. While I cannot say for certain if Brian is talking to me, I know that I can see him smiling at me, and I feel his ever-present love with me always.

If you’re looking for a way to talk to your loved ones who have died, I invite you to come visit the wind phone in our healing garden. You can sit on a bench and as you speak into the phone, your words go off onto the wind. Find other wind phone locations here.

Additionally, Postal Service for the Dead is a program where you can mail your loved ones a letter. Find more information on how to participate here.

I hope you find ways to connect with the family and friends who have died that feels comforting and encourages you along your healing journey. 

With love,

Ann